Astounding

Tillie and Millie, two old girl friends, met for lunch. “I married a wealthy clothing manufacturer,” announced Tillie, “and he bought me a yacht for my birthday.”

“Astounding!” said Millie.

“I have charge accounts in all the department stores,” said Tillie.

“‘Astounding!” said Millie.

“I have a drawer full of rubies and emeralds and my husband bought me a twenty five carat diamond ring for our second anniversary,” said Tillie.

“Astounding!” said Millie.

“Enough about me,” said Tillie, “What have you been doing?”

“Oh,” answered Millie, “I’m going to charm school.”

“Really, what did you learn there?” asked Tillie.

“Well, for one thing, they taught me to say ‘astounding’ instead of ‘bullsh*t’,” replied Millie.