Urine Test

My urologist’s office called the other day and explained that my scheduled appointment would now be done over the phone due to the corona virus.

One hour before the scheduled teleconference, I was instructed (via email) to administer my own urine test This was to avoid those lab tests and costly co-pays that your doctor’s tell you to get at Quest Diagnostics, and because they’re shutdown too.

Directions:

Simply go outside and pee on the front lawn.If ant’s gather: DIABETES.If you pee on your feet: PROSTATE.If it smells like a barbecue: CHOLESTEROL.If your wrist hurts when you shake it: OSTEOARTHRITIS.If you return to your house with your penis outside your pants: ALZHEIMER’S